IndyGo announced today that it will begin using it's QuadDecker buses throughout the entire Indy Metro Area, effective immediately.
Coming in at four times the height of a normal city bus--as well as 30 times the weight--these new buses caught the entire community by surprise.
"We like to fly under the radar with our 'special projects'," says IndyGo Community Liaison Dubl Dechah. "We find that by making a unilateral decision to redesign our buses--with no, and I mean NO--input from the community, regard for existing bridges, utility wires, or gross vehicle weight makes things so much easier."
"It's about time," says Raipde Trannset, who recently moved here from Europe. "Where I come from, we not only have quadruple decker buses, we have an eight level OctoBus. Yes, eight actual levels on a city bus--and they come with balconies! Occasionally, we open up all the windows and use the balconies to enjoy the breeze. It's a sight to behold, barreling down the Autobahn!"
Oftentimes, Tansset explains, many will simply stay on the OctoBus.
"They serve cold beer and bratwurst--what with the balconies and all--and are so big that the bus driver can't really tell who is on or off. Many times, staying on the OctoBus is cheaper than renting an appartement!"
There you have it folks.
Will the success of IndyGo's new Quadruple Bus eventually morph into an Octobus?
Will we all be living on some Kafka-esque enormous bus where cold beer, bratwurst and the very fate of our existence is served?
How good is that bratwurst, really?
Only time will tell.
Speaking of time, what day is it today?
Oh, you know.
You do.
With a Quadruple--actually, make that an OCTOUPLE--Amount of Gratitude,
Miriam
p.s. In case you don't have a calendar in front of you, today is April 1st, 2025.
p.p.s. Please don't call up IndyGo and ask to speak with "Dubl Dechah" about the four level buses.
Actually...okay, go 'head.
Tell me how that goes.
